Words really do hurt people

When I used to live in West St. Paul, I went to a very small grade school. There was only a max of 24 kids in my class each year so I got to know each kid very well. I still know them very well to this day. One of my closer cousins was also the same age as me so he happened to be in my same class every single year. Growing up, I was always the first pick (even of all the guys) on all the sports teams and I couldn't wait until recess to play kickball or football or some guyish activity. There was only one other girl who joined me in this, the rest would sit together and just watch. My cousin, Alex, never played either. He would always sit with the girls and eventually became best friends with them. Everyone in my class would make fun of him for being so girly and he stopped being invited to our games. He was also in the same baseball league as I was, and he would wear light up flip flops to practice.I was probably only in third grade, and kids already started making fun of him for being gay because of the decisions he made. Being his cousin, I always stood up for him and I refused to believe that was true. I would always have my times where I would make fun of him too because everyone looked up to me as the tough tomboy who could take on anything. I know that he went home crying a lot to his mom, and she would call me mom and I would be forced to make everyone apologize.

This went on forever, until recently he actually came out that he was gay. Even though we all knew it was coming, my whole family didn't know how to react. Luckily even though we are Catholic, my family was very accepting. Even my grandparents let it pass by them like nothing happened. The only person on edge was his own father. I started to notice him favoring Alex's younger brother a lot more than Alex, and it broke my heart.

It was so weird for me to think that I had a gay cousin. Especially one that I was so close to earlier on. I don't necessarily believe in it, but I don't think it's enough reason to let it get in the way of family.

As I said before, I have known the kids in my elementary school for a very long time. Last summer they decided to get everyone together for a reunion so we could say goodbye before we left for college. When i got there, Alex was the only one not invited. I figured that he wouldn't have gone anyways, but I still thought it was a little shady. A few days after the reunion was over, Alex sent me a very long message on facebook saying that all of the guys in my grade had left him a nasty voicemail telling him to "go die... no one like gay people.. just jump off a bridge.." and would constantly use words like faggot and gay. Alex wanted to go to the police and was truly upset about the whole situation. Who wouldn't be? No innocent person deserves to be told to die. I felt horrible. I'm his cousin and I was there at the reunion and couldn't even stop it from happening. I didn't know it was going on, but I still felt like I could partially take the blame. What confuses me most about the whole situation is WHY do people care so much about another person's life..??? If it truly bothers you, then don't associate with them. There's no need to make them feel like a pile of shit. Especially guys. It seems like it bothers them more than women. I also am confused by this. If anything they should be thankful for gay people. There are now less men in the world looking for women so it gives straight guys a larger variety to choose from.

Alex even got to the point where he wanted to see a counselor because of some of the thoughts he was having about himself. This made me so mad that I met up with everyone from my old class and told them what happened. They truly looked hurt. They've also known him his entire life and it struck them that the thought of losing him could somehow hurt them. They made excuses like they didn't know he would take it that way and all that bull shit. But sometimes words are just too far, especially when there are so many people ganging up on one harmless individual. Every single guy in the class ended up apologizing to Alex. They realized how far they actually went in order to seem cool to society and their friends. Since everyone was doing it, it seemed alright. They couldn't get in trouble for it, right? Wrong. A lot of things changed when people started realizing that Alex wasn't joking about being gay. His dad also started favoring him more and even over Thanksgiving I noticed it being a lot more normal. My family is starting to forget about what he believes and remember that he's family.

Basically people need to worry about their own life, and let others be happy. They aren't getting in your way, so why break them down so much. I don't understand how people can be gay, but that doesn't stop me from accepting someone belief.